Can I let you in on a little secret or three? Yes! Thank you. I'm overweight - have been since I was 19. I'm no different to anyone else who is overweight (change the word overweight for any of the other human afflictions, addictions and contradictions, etc.). I've tried dieting; I've tried food substitutes; I've tried pretending I'm not fat; I've tried exercise; I've even given up trying to change. Sound familiar? I'm not that different to anyone else really. Hard! You bet. But of course you know that.

Secret No. 2. I like a red wine. Actually I like a few red wines. But I have rules. I never have one before 5pm (except on special occasions); I only drink on weekends (this one is not so hard and fast); I never drink more than one bottle of wine in one day (the pain is a great deterrent). I am not so concerned about this habit, but of course the "experts" say I should be. Bloody experts - what would they know!.

Secret No. 3. For years I smoked and one day (many years ago) I stopped and I've never had the urge to take it up again. In fact if you smoke around me you can expect me to be quite rude to you.

So, there are things about my behaviours I have changed; some things I would like to change and others I'm not yet convinced need changing. I would like to lose the weight because I am of the age where it carries risks, of which I am only too aware. The wine I 'should' modify; but shoulds don't motivate me. The smokes I did change because I was concerned about my declining lung function, and being a poor role model for my daughters.

Two questions have always nagged at me and they still do. First, why are some habits so easy to change whilst others are not? Second, what motivates real change? All of the (credible) evidence suggests that we are not motivated by the stick and many of us not even by the carrot. I am not suggesting there are any sure fire ways of changing those habits; god forbid there are plenty out there who do have the "Secret". Just pick up any magazine, watch the TV, follow the gurus; they leave a trail of failed "cures" in their wake.

I thought it might be helpful for you to know that I too am human and that to struggle with unwanted or unhealthy behaviours is normal - it's OK to struggle. It took me a long time to learn that lesson. I hope it doesn't take you as long.

As the introduction to this new (OK not so new - but definitely rejuvenated) web site I thought I would start where I always start with new clients. And where is that I hear you ask. At the beginning of course. One of the most important and fundamental points I can make about my work is that what we often think is abnormal, wrong or dysfunctional is in fact fairly normal human behaviour. If we begin from this point then we can unhook from all the self limiting chatter that goes on in our minds. When you are able to do that there is more room for the things you would like to do.

This is where we begin the journey. Over the coming weeks and months I will hope to educate, entertain and inform you. Now, it's over to you. Share this web site with the world.

Thanks for Listening & Sharing
Greg

Tags: ACT, NLP, Depression, Anxiety, Addictions, Wieght loss, habits, therapy